First, I lied. I promised I would have two entries a week and I miss the first week. And welcome to the human race.
Has that ever happened to you, you get inspired, are really into something, get going, then you stop? What happened? Do you then go into the excuse making, “oh I was really busy”, or “I was involved in this thing and it took too much of my time”? Or do you go right into some version of, “yea it was a good idea, but I have other things that are really more important”? Or are you just an, “I suck” guy? It really does not matter what the reason is, you and me are both human, and that thing happens. The question becomes what’s next. There are infinite possibilities. You could do nothing and act like it never happened. You could stop and agree you were too busy, you have more important things to do, or my favorite, you suck. You could fret, and fumble and pretend you are still on your original time line (if you see the big picture). You could strategize how if you just do three blogs the next two weeks you’ll be all even…..Or you can get complete and do what you are committed to, more clear, and more intentional.
That is an example of the value of coaching. And that is not really what this post is about. This is about “what coaching is”, and “what coaching isn’t”. First, what it is: It’s really hard to describe. The best way to understand coaching is to participate in it. If you are interested, call me and I will set up a free sample session and you can explore what it is. It is an experience. Talking about it and explaining it can be kind of boring. The best way to understand it is to experience it. (Later on I will touch on what it can provide.)
What it isn’t. Coaching isn’t therapy, or advice, or consulting, or counseling. Therapy for the most part focuses on an event or condition in the past that affect you today. It is a process of healing. Advisors provide expertise and insight into new or existing conditions. They can bring wisdom, and often time their perspectives are based in their experience, or another way to say it, the past. Consultants again bring their skills and tools into your situation. Most consultants are highly trained and skillful in what they do. Consultants also operate typically from a specific context, that context is the skill or position they are trained in. Counseling is a process of addressing and ongoing issue, understanding what happened, and coming up with a solution for the problem. Coaching, when done well, is none of these.
Coaching is intended for healthy, well-adjusted people who are up to something. Coaching is about building and expanding, about creating and upward spiral. Coaching is about the creation of satisfaction in you work, your family, your life, or anything that matters to you. If you go on youtube.com, you can find a great 42 second video, by Eric Schmidt on coaching. He says two things. #1) if you are up to something, get a coach. #2) what coaching provides is a way to see yourself as others see you.
What coaching does is listens to what you want, and works in a collaborative way to create a process to achieve that outcome to fulfill on your desire, to realize that goal, to turn that idea into reality.
Leaders, executives, managers, dads, moms, leaders of not for profits, little league managers; all have ideas of what they want. Somehow all of us, at times find a way at times to settle for less than that. We get busy, other stuff is a higher priority, we don’t have the funding, or again my favorite, “I suck” and I just don’t deserve it. Listen, that is fine. It is ok to remain resigned and cynical. Believe me, you are not wrong, there is a ton of evidence to support it won’t work. I know I was a master in resignation.
Then I learned something, THIS IS NOT A PRACTICE LIFE. Every second we waste on resignation is a second we waste alive. Life is precious and urgent my friend. You really cannot survive it. In closing, please listen to the words of Eric Schmidt “get a coach”.
Again, if you would like a free sample session, please call me. Until next time. Thank you.
With Loving Kindness.